Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I keep getting lost in something.

I feel empty today. However, I'm noticing the pretty weather from the dull windows from my dorm's den. The snow is beautiful, even though it can be a bitch sometimes. Weather seems to have its ways to tap into emotions. Hmm, I like that. It must just be one of those days. Maybe those blankets of snow can fill up the emptiness later. Maybe.

I can't really put my finger on it, to be perfectly honest. It has been awhile since I've felt this empty hole in my stomach. Nothing, that I can think of, could be the reason for this feeling. I don't know, maybe I'm just losing control. Disappointment? Nostalgia? Restlessness? Hate? I don't know. I don't know much anymore, all I know is I miss being confident and alive.

We're not too far into the second semester at Iowa State, hell, it's only the second day of classes... for some reason, I'm scared and overwhelmed. It's weird, I'm quite sure everyone can relate, that some days (take for instance, the first semester) can fade within blinks, however, on other days, we're counting the sharp ticks of every second in every minute within every hour. Time... well, time just sucks.

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I just finished another movie tonight by myself. I miss having best friends and having every girl flirt with me. Maybe I'll find answers to all the questions soon. Maybe my eyes will find light again. Ha, maybe.

this meant nothing to you or me,
andrew

1 comment:

turkey_subwoofer said...

i had the same feeling right before Christmas Break. for almost 9 straight days, I felt really depressed and I didn't know why so I got really angry. i just had to go home for a while. i don't know about you but home is a place that i understand so that might help. i hope you're feeling less shitty by now.